Jokes

Ed went to the doctor's,

"Don't laugh!" said the patient, Ed.

"Of course, I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over 20 years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay, then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of an AAA size battery!

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell
laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his
feet and regain his composure. "I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Ed replied...

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Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men.... that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet again.....

The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night.

The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you... then we made love all night long.'

The married one then said: 'Well, last night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes.

My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer, plopped his fat ass on the couch and said,

'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'